OPEN LETTER to all speeding impaired drivers
Dear slow driver,
So after this weekend I have decided the icthus is about to come off and the middle finger is about to go up. You can keep that from happening with a few minor changes in your driving. I have no intention of asking you to drive any other speed than that which you are comfortable with (although I question the masculinity of guys I know who drive so freaking slow), my frustration is your unwillingness to allow me to drive my desired speed while on the highway. What you don't understand is that some of us actually have somewhere to be, and people who actually want to see us there. The fact that you have neither of these does not mean you need to steal my precious time.
In reality, it is less about the time and more about winning the race. You ask "who with?"- it's pretty simple- the car that is about 50 meters ahead of me at the time. Nevertheless, my beef still remains...
Here's the list of my grievances:
1- When I was younger and being taught by one of you (a fellow speeding impaired driver, who happens to be my dad), one of the basic rules of courtesy on a one lane road was to slide over to the shoulder when someone was clearly wanting to pass you. I must have missed the memo where there was some sort of change to the rule; people now days prefer me to risk my own life by sliding into oncoming traffic than simply sliding over 6 feet while losing no speed of their own.
2nd grievance- why do two people driving the same speed get in separate lanes and drive next to each other? I don't care what speed you are going, you can get behind one another and have a merry game of follow the leader- trade off being in front if you both have control issues.
3rd beef- why drive in the left lane when you know you are clearly not one of the faster drivers on the road. In fact, all you rule followers who will complain to me about driving the speed limit- follow the law and stay in the right lane except for passing.
If you do this, I might just leave my little fishy on my car and keep my finger to myself... Please help me help you.